Welcome ICLW!

Our story:
I am 34, my DH is 35, and we live in the Midwest.  We are living with infertility.  Our challenge had been male factor with severe oligozoospermia (count less than 10M) and mild endo.  Over the summer, we learned my FSH was elevated and now, officially, diagnosed with DOR.  After being shell-shocked, we realized time is of the essence and have been evaluating our options over the past few months.  We recently decided to proceed with a multi-cycle plan, at a new clinic (that is about 12 hours from home), next month (Dec).  While I am excited to be moving forward, I am nervous and afraid.  Thankfully, my job has been so insanely busy that I have not had much time to really think about all of the *what-if's*!  I plan to journal about my feelings, the procedures, and our journey over the next month right here. 

If you want to read more about our journey to the diagnosis of IF, click here.

A little more about how we got here:  For the past 2 years, we have been in limbo-land HELL.  In 2008, we did an IUI cycle, an IVF cycle, spent our savings, and took out a loan.  In 2009, in the midst of the economic crisis, we tried to sell our house (we recently took it off the market).  In Dec 09, DH had surgery to repair a varicocele.  In 2010, we started the new year dedicated to a healthier lifestyle, working out and eating better.  In April, we got our 1st ever BFP, ON.OUR.OWN!  The joy ended a week later.  In late May, I was late again but our fears were quickly realized.  Needless to say, the roller coaster of emotions of those few months caused our plans to derail and we went crashing off course.  We had a WTF appt with our RE who thought updated tests would be a good idea.  That is when we got more bad news as I had a high FSH (25 - July).  In August, it was down but still elevated (12).  In Sept, the AMH test was .48 which is an indicator of diminished ovarian reserve. 

So, here.we.are.  We are 100% self-pay (no insurance coverage) and taking out another loan to pay for the upcoming treatment.  That is probably my biggest fear right now.  We are investing so much in this, if it doesn't work ~ UGH, my stomach turns at the thought ~ I try to not let myself go there.  My comfort is knowing that we have more than 1 shot at this, this time.  That has been our desire all along (since our failed cycles).  If/when we started treatment again, we had to have more than 1 cycle.  We thought a shared-risk plan was the answer but with my recent test results, we are not candidates for those now.  We are VERY fortunate that we found a great RE/clinic, with decent/average stats, that offers multi-cycle plans!  So today, I am THANKFUL and HOPEFUL that we are headed in the right direction.

Thanks for stopping by!