Sunday, December 20, 2009

"Better Appreciate"

DH's varicocele surgery was 2 days ago (Friday, 12/18). We were in and out in less than 3 hours. The doctor said the surgery went perfectly. DH will have a SA in 3 months and we will go from there. The incision is higher than we thought it would be...he was VERY happy about that! Still, he was very sore. He is feeling better this morning, so hoping that trend continues.

Last night, we were watching yet another movie and DH was moving around to get comfortable. He said, "You know, if we ever have kids, they better appreciate all we have went through to have them." I laughed and said, "And I think we will appreciate them more for all we have went through to have them."

Sunday, December 13, 2009


We had the follow-up urology appointment on 11/23. The doc confirmed the varicocele and scheduled surgery for this Friday, 12/18. We will wait 3 months and do SA to determine if surgery helps DH's counts. If it does not help, the urologist will prescribe clomid for him. Trying to stay optimistic....but honestly, it is difficult.

My co-worker told me a few weeks ago she is preggo. Of course, they were not *trying* and she told me she felt bad telling me her news. I HATE awkward moments like that. You know, truly, I am happy for them. They do not take their fertility for granted. They had a miscarriage about 3 years ago and it took them *awhile* (about 1 year - which I'm sure felt like FOREVER to them....) to get pregnant again. They have a little one who just turned 1 year a few months ago. Anyways, I do not want people to feel bad telling me about their joy. I was pretty honest with her and tried to explain my feelings about it. I am not sure how much she believed me that I can be happy for her even though it is tearing me up on the inside. We have not talked about it since.

An odd, ironic situation happened for DH. He has problems with lower back pain and sees an orthopedic doctor. Well, he started seeing a new doc a few months ago at the same center and had an appointment on Friday. They were discussing an upcoming procedure and DH told the doc about his varicocele surgery. I guess the doc asked some questions and DH gave him the short story of our IF. The doc asked who our RE is and DH told him. The doc said, "Well, he is the reason I have two little girls." DH teared up and they continued a more detailed conversation of our journey.

We definitely need these moments to remind us that there is a plan for us.