Thursday, October 29, 2009

Learning more...

We had the "2nd opinion appt" with a urologist on Tuesday.

First things first, he does not feel like DH needs to be concerned with prostate cancer right now. He did a brief check of his prostate, no concerns. Even though there is family history (his dad and dad's dad), he thinks waiting until 40yrs is an appropriate measure and DH's concerns of *possible symptoms* are related to caffeine intake. So, whew!

We discussed IF and our journey thus far. He asked DH to stand up while we talked and he would tell us why later. He reviewed DH's previous test results (SA's, hormones, etc.) and asked if he had been checked. We explained yes, but it was very brief and that's why we are here....for a 2nd opinion. Listened to a few IF stories of past patients and then he did a physical exam. He asked if we had heard of a varicocele? I think I shouted, YES! He explained it a bit and told me to "come here". DH in all his glory is standing there (poor guy! I told him later, now you know what I've been through ;-) and the doc shows us how to check for it and what he feels is a varicocele. He goes on to say that he had DH stand because it would be easier to feel the varicocele because it would bulge like a varicose vein. That the back-up of blood causes the testes to "over heat" therefore impacting sperm production, quality, etc.

He ordered an u/s of the area to confirm the mass is a varicocele. Then, he can do a minor surgery to repair it. He is VERY supportive of clomid for men and said he would be willing to prescribe immediately after the fix or if we wanted to wait and see if the procedure improves DH's counts on its own before starting the clomid - it is our decision. He cautioned us that there are no guarantees that either will work.

Needless to say, we left there with mixed emotions. Ecstatic at what we learned but pissed off that the previous urologist did not detect it AND our RE recommended us to him because he was supposed to be *the best*. And icing on the cake is that when I called the 1st urologist last month to ask about Clomid - they told me the doc didn't really deal w/ MFI and that they would refer us to Dr. B (our RE). It sucks that it feels like infertility is this *big $$ business* that some times doctors forget or don't care that couples are often dealing with so many other facets of their life that are affected by IF. And then when things like this happen (that this was missed or maybe, it wasn't there last year), we've become such skeptics it feels like you've been betrayed.

Nevertheless, I am thankful the "c" word is NOT in our immediate future/concern. I am thankful that we may have found a cause for MFI and the urologist said no worries about Kleinfelters, Turners or "any others". I am glad DH is getting to experience some of the "bear all moments" and procedures. Most of all, I am hopeful that the u/s next week will confirm the varicocele and we can move forward!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Next appt...

We have the urologist appointment on Tuesday this week to discuss MFI, SA, etc. This doc is local and deals more with MFI so we are hoping for some direction. On a related note, we are going to find out if DH should be tested for prostate cancer. His dad was diagnosed in August and had his prostate removed last month. They have talked about the symptoms and DH's current health and we have some concern that maybe the MFI is related?? Not sure, but definitely, we want to have the conversation.

Nervous, anxious, hopeful ~ for some thing.

Monday, October 12, 2009

"What Faith Can Do"

Found that song I heard the other day... Dealing with infertility has challenged me on so many levels, especially, my faith. This song spoke to my heart. I needed it the other day. I need it today.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

The glimmer faded.

Well, today was GREAT in many ways: received news of a contract extension, received news of a brand new contract award, passed an audit and, MOST importantly, DH cooked dinner! Yay! Love that guy!

Bad news. Just received word back from the (stupid) people who made the offer that their original offer *stands*. UGH! We came down 4K and they stand by their offer of about 10% less than our last appraisal?? Um, no thanks.

So, we wait. We will wait and see what comes our way next.

On my way home today, I had the radio off for awhile just trying to clear my mind of all the business of the day. I turned it on about 1/2 way home and my radio was on a local Christian station that I have on my preset...I forgot I was listening to it this morning on the way in. This song I've never heard was just coming on and it spoke to my heart. I love when things like that happen. At that very moment, that is EXACTLY what I needed to hear! Now, I need to find the artist/CD and listen to that song every day! :-)

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

No news, yet.

Notta, nothing, zilch! It hasn't been quite 24 hours yet (still have about 7 minutes :-)

Don't they know I am not a patient person! My patience tapped out a long time ago!!!

Waiting, of course.


Monday, October 5, 2009

A glimmer of hope

Guess what?! Sue, your vibes are working! Thank you, hun!

We got an offer today! Not a wow, OMG, get all excited kind of offer, but nonetheless, it IS an offer! That is my 1/2-full-kind of attitude. DH was not too happy with it though...

We countered tonight. Not getting too excited, just going with it. Another twist in this roller coaster of my life!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Keeping Busy

I have been so busy with work again the past few weeks that I cannot believe it is October! I expect it will be this way for quite some time. The good news, it keeps my mind busy with work-related things and not dwelling on baby-making things!

I went to my obgyn appt earlier this week to talk about clomid for DH. He was unable to go with me which bothered me, but turned out better I think because my doc was very open with our conversation and asked questions that she may not have if he was sitting there. Bottom line, she said that she is not comfortable prescribing clomid for him and not monitoring him just in case he had some side effects or something. Fair enough. She asked me if he has seen a urologist ~ and I explained that yes, but the urologist doesn't address male fertility. She asked if I had heard of this other doc ~ no, I had not. She asked if I was interested in visiting with him? Sure, he's local. She called his office right then, asked if they were taking new patients and gave me his contact info. Talked it over with DH afterwards and we just need to call and schedule an appt now. It will be one more step, one more appointment to look forward too.

Nothing new on selling the house. We lowered the list price by 6K last week and have not had a single call. UGH! Each day, I go back and forth on if we should sell.... Could we stick it out here, live this tightly and not seek more treatment for a few years? Some days, I think we could. Other days, no way! Yesterday, I was thinking maybe. Today, I am thinking nope! I imagine this is what bipolar must feel like! LOL