Cannot.believe.it.is.August! I haven't kept up here or the IF boards. Honestly, I've tried to "forget" about all things TTC for the past month or so....yeah, not working so well.
After our June RE consult, we did much talking about what "we should do". July was shaping up to be a busy month....we had a long-weekend away planned and a 2-week vacay. To avoid dampening our spirits, we decided to put off my Day 3 blood work.
We spent the 4th of July in the Disney World area and made note of all the places "we will bring our child someday." That evening, we caught a ride to WDW, purchased a few adult beverages, and found "the perfect spot" on the beach of Seven Seas Lagoon to watch the fireworks and water parade. We were bummed they only lasted 11 minutes!
The next week, we were home for 5 days and then off on our 2-week hiatus to St. John, USVI. Even though Tropical Storm Bonnie made for some interesting weather, we had a fabulous time. We ventured to the BVI and explored new places. We celebrated our 34th and 35th birthdays. We ate lots of yummy food, laughed a lot, and enjoyed our time together. The beaches were as gorgeous as ever and we just love, love, LOVE the islands!
As our vacation was coming to an end, AF arrived. Impeccable timing. Since I planned an extra vacay day before I returned to work and that just happened to be CD 3, we decided to move forward with the tests on 7/26. Our RE's office called the next day with the results: FSH = 25.3 and estrogen >30. FSH should *ideally* be <10. RE wants to "talk". I don't want to hear what he has to say. I don't want to hear about donor egg as our next option.
At our June consult, he briefly mentioned donor egg as we discussed getting the updated tests, b/w, and figuring out what was next. My heart sank then, I was offended that he "went there." And now, here.we.are.
We have an appointment in a few weeks but I don't know if I even want to go. If I could go. Physically, I am fine. Emotionally, I am not. From the outside, I am fine. On the inside, I am not.
The Consequence of Intimacy
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