Monday, August 2, 2010

June-July Re-cap, more bad news.!  I haven't kept up here or the IF boards.  Honestly, I've tried to "forget" about all things TTC for the past month or so....yeah, not working so well.

After our June RE consult, we did much talking about what "we should do".  July was shaping up to be a busy month....we had a long-weekend away planned and a 2-week vacay.  To avoid dampening our spirits, we decided to put off my Day 3 blood work.

We spent the 4th of July in the Disney World area and made note of all the places "we will bring our child someday."  That evening, we caught a ride to WDW, purchased a few adult beverages, and found "the perfect spot" on the beach of Seven Seas Lagoon to watch the fireworks and water parade.  We were bummed they only lasted 11 minutes!

The next week, we were home for 5 days and then off on our 2-week hiatus to St. John, USVI.  Even though Tropical Storm Bonnie made for some interesting weather, we had a fabulous time.  We ventured to the BVI and explored new places.  We celebrated our 34th and 35th birthdays.  We ate lots of yummy food, laughed a lot, and enjoyed our time together.  The beaches were as gorgeous as ever and we just love, love, LOVE the islands!

As our vacation was coming to an end, AF arrived.  Impeccable timing.  Since I planned an extra vacay day before I returned to work and that just happened to be CD 3, we decided to move forward with the tests on 7/26.  Our RE's office called the next day with the results:  FSH = 25.3 and estrogen >30.  FSH should *ideally* be <10.  RE wants to "talk".  I don't want to hear what he has to say.  I don't want to hear about donor egg as our next option. 

At our June consult, he briefly mentioned donor egg as we discussed getting the updated tests, b/w, and figuring out what was next.  My heart sank then, I was offended that he "went there." And now, here.we.are.

We have an appointment in a few weeks but I don't know if I even want to go.  If I could go.  Physically, I am fine.  Emotionally, I am not.  From the outside, I am fine.  On the inside, I am not.


  1. Sounds like you had an amazing vacation. Sorry you had to come home to that news. Will be thinking about you and praying in the days to come. Hugs

  2. Your vacay sounds great. So sorry about the b/w results! I'm so surprised! You are still young! Did your mom go through menopause early? Ugh. I know a lot of people who did DE after lots of discussions and thought and they ended up very very happy in the end, so I know it takes time but if that is where you do need to go, know that the decision is hard but the end result is beautiful. Hugs.

  3. Oh man, the hits just keep coming! It will be hard to see the RE but maybe they'll have some alternative options as well to DE. I'm so sorry you have to deal with just plain sucks. That is great that you had such a great time on vacation and just took a break. You totally deserve it!

  4. I'm sorry your RE "went there" - my RE went there and we were actually leaning towards donor egg for a while...then it just wasn't feeling right for us. Our adoption journey has been AMAZING - not without it's ups and downs, but I know this is the Lord's will for our lives. I am praying for you as you make some big decisions in the next few weeks and that your miracle baby comes soon in whatever beautiful way God has planned. xo