Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Broke my heart.

My BIL is in a new serious relationship and his g/f has a young daughter. Last night, he posted new pics on FB of them at the beach, circus and fair. In some of the pictures, he looks like my DH especially at a quick glance. My heart hurt. My eyes filled with tears.

It is supposed to be us! We have been together for 10 years! We have been trying to have a child for 5 years!!!!!

We are not that close to his family. So, we have not met the g/f or daughter, yet. Truthfully, I do not know if I want to. I do not know if I could keep my emotions in check. All of his siblings have children now (or in his case, have a child in his life).

It is only September and I am NOT looking forward to the holidays. We have vacation time we need to use.... Maybe, we will conveniently schedule some get-a-aways over the holidays and skip'em this year.


  1. Holidays are particularly rough amidst the infertility struggle. We basically skipped Christmas last year - and I don't regret doing so. It was necessary. So do what you feel - protect your heart.

  2. Hey girl,
    Just checking on you here. What a fiasco with the urologist...that would totally be my question too - "how did we end up with this guy to begin with?". I'm so sorry about that - hopefully your OB/GYN will help you out, I know when I worked at the OB/GYN office, we would do everything we could for IF couples, knowing the huge financial risks once they moved on to a RE. Can you guys see another urologist to have his prostate checked for the familial traits and let IF be a secondary question for the new guy?

    And this post...take it easy this holiday season. It's really hard (that is the understatement of the year)...I've faced those holidays for years too and it never got better. IF is so tough in every aspect. Maybe a nice trip to a great city is the answer this holiday! Hope you do it.

    Just know that I'm thinking of you and can't wait to see how this works out for you guys...because I know it will eventually. We're here for you every step of the way! Love you girl!

  3. These things are never easy. My hubby and I are the only childless couple on both sides of the family and the holidays have become impossible for me to handle. We skipped them last year and are planning to do the same thing again this year. I hate doing it, but we are the favorite aunt and uncle on both sides and all of the kids want us to be there for their Santa mornings. We just don't have it in us anymore and it sucks for everyone involved.

    I'm sorry it is so hard. Be easy on yourself and do whatever you need to do.

  4. Such a sad story. I am so sorry. Be brave.
    Big hug,
    Liska x

  5. Sorry me again. I know what you mean though about family. I am an only child but on my hubby's side we have 3 nieces and 1 nephew. But my SIL has another on the way, and is nearly 8 months pregnant. Luckily I don't see her often, as she is my BIL's girlfriend and I see him and not her as she is away quite often, or at work, or at their home (not the family home) etc... so luckily I haven't had to see her bump. Would be tough as I have bump envy big style.

    Luckily I have not had to go through the holidays yet, as we only started trying to conceive in April.

    Liska xxx