Welcome ICLW!

Our story:
I am 34, my DH is 35, and we live in the Midwest.  We are living with infertility.  Our challenge had been male factor with severe oligozoospermia (count less than 10M) and mild endo.  Over the summer, we learned my FSH was elevated and now, officially, diagnosed with DOR.  After being shell-shocked, we realized time is of the essence and have been evaluating our options over the past few months.  We recently decided to proceed with a multi-cycle plan, at a new clinic (that is about 12 hours from home), next month (Dec).  While I am excited to be moving forward, I am nervous and afraid.  Thankfully, my job has been so insanely busy that I have not had much time to really think about all of the *what-if's*!  I plan to journal about my feelings, the procedures, and our journey over the next month right here. 

If you want to read more about our journey to the diagnosis of IF, click here.

A little more about how we got here:  For the past 2 years, we have been in limbo-land HELL.  In 2008, we did an IUI cycle, an IVF cycle, spent our savings, and took out a loan.  In 2009, in the midst of the economic crisis, we tried to sell our house (we recently took it off the market).  In Dec 09, DH had surgery to repair a varicocele.  In 2010, we started the new year dedicated to a healthier lifestyle, working out and eating better.  In April, we got our 1st ever BFP, ON.OUR.OWN!  The joy ended a week later.  In late May, I was late again but our fears were quickly realized.  Needless to say, the roller coaster of emotions of those few months caused our plans to derail and we went crashing off course.  We had a WTF appt with our RE who thought updated tests would be a good idea.  That is when we got more bad news as I had a high FSH (25 - July).  In August, it was down but still elevated (12).  In Sept, the AMH test was .48 which is an indicator of diminished ovarian reserve. 

So, here.we.are.  We are 100% self-pay (no insurance coverage) and taking out another loan to pay for the upcoming treatment.  That is probably my biggest fear right now.  We are investing so much in this, if it doesn't work ~ UGH, my stomach turns at the thought ~ I try to not let myself go there.  My comfort is knowing that we have more than 1 shot at this, this time.  That has been our desire all along (since our failed cycles).  If/when we started treatment again, we had to have more than 1 cycle.  We thought a shared-risk plan was the answer but with my recent test results, we are not candidates for those now.  We are VERY fortunate that we found a great RE/clinic, with decent/average stats, that offers multi-cycle plans!  So today, I am THANKFUL and HOPEFUL that we are headed in the right direction.

Thanks for stopping by!

Big decision!

We have made a decision!  We are moving forward with a multi-cycle IVF plan with a new RE in December!  As in NEXT month!  We had our consult on 11/5 and really liked the RE.  He suggested the flare protocol since it takes awhile for me to respond to stims.

AF should arrive around 12/5.  We will do baselines here and then travel to NY for a few weeks.  ER/ET will be the week of Christmas!

Also, I made it back to the gym yesterday, finally.  It was odd walking back in there - the last time was in April, when I was pregnant.  Mixed emotions thinking about that yesterday.  But it's past me.  I did it.  And I will go back tomorrow.

p.s.  AF arrived this past Mon, 11/8.  :(

Good news

We got the paperwork from the new clinic to complete prior to our consult.  They want it at least 1 week prior, which means this Friday, YIKES ~ where does time go these days?!  Ah yes, my CRAZY work schedule.  The positive ~ it has kept me so busy, this cycle is flying by!

As we prepare for the consult, we have been discussing when we want to do the next IVF cycle.  Given an A-ok by the new RE, we have pretty much settled on December.  I was initially concerned because work is out of control busy but DH helped me put that in perspective, relatively quick.  :o) 

It is hard for me to, well, think about ME.  I am very, Type-A....need a plan, need others to have a plan, need to always give my all, need to be dependable, reliable, involved in the planning, ETC...  Did I mention, I am the oldest of my family?  I LOVE that he didn't give me an option.  He knows it is time for us to move forward.

So as my job duties have exploded in the past few weeks, I have been wondering how to break the news to my boss that I might need to be gone for 3-4 wks in Dec.  Thankfully, she knows our story and struggles.  I mentioned in passing about a consult with a new clinic.  She brought it up earlier this week and asked me where things stand.  I took the opportunity to spill the "plan".  She hugged me and immediately was supportive and assured me, we'd make it work.  Whatever it takes.  WHEW!

CD 13 ~ + OPK

My RE's office checks their messages at 7:30am on Sat and Sun.  I woke both mornings between 7am - 7:25am this weekend (without an alarm clock) to take a OPK with FMU.  Both were negative.  This morning, I was grouchy that for the 2nd morning in the row that I was able to sleep in, I couldn't.  Isn't it funny how our subconscious works?

Although the RE's office said I only need to test in the morning, the past few months, my + has shown up in the evening.  I took another OPK this evening and got a :o)  I will call the RE tomorrow, although we have decided to BD and not do an IUI this round.  We have made the decision to save the $ for our pursuit of IVF in the near future.  Our consultation with the new clinic is 11/5.

And for the record, I had an insane work schedule this past week.  This next week is not much better but I hope to deal with things better since I'll be without the Clomid.  It made me tired, whiney and grouchy. 

CD 1 ~ Clomid cycle

AF arrived today.  I called our RE today.  We are proceeding with a clomid cycle with OPKs and bd'ing.  I go for a baseline u/s on Thursday.

In the meantime, we have scheduled a phone consultation with another clinic.  Since the results of my latest tests have put us out of the running for a shared risk IVF plan, we have been looking at our options.  I found this clinic who offers very reasonable packages for multiple IVF cycles.  Their ART stats are good and they seem to do a lot of cycles.  Excited to be moving forward!

********************

In other exciting news, a good friend (who I met because of our infertility struggles) gave birth today to twins, 1 boy and 1 girl.  I am so proud of you Lindsay for finding the strength to push through the dark days and keeping the hope that some day, today would arrive!  So happy for you and Steve, love you girl!